@living_marble: Technically, it's only cannibalism if you eat the top half of the mermaid, your honour.
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@primawesome: I treat going to a therapist like going to a mechanic. "So, It's been making some odd sounds and I'm sure it's on the verge of a breakdown."
@rancheroni: football coach: i need you guys to make a play (8 months later at opening night) football coach: wait wtf is this
@BoogTweets: [Interrogation] Cop: this guy looks like a cop if you ask me *intercom* you need to be on this side of the mirror, Carl