@living_marble: Technically, it's only cannibalism if you eat the top half of the mermaid, your honour.
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@HysteriaBarbie: My coworker had a baby. I had a BLT. I think we all know who the real winner is
@yonewt: Every member of my family is polite & courteous which I why our pantry has 17 boxes of cookies that contain exactly one remaining cookie
@TheFunnyWorId: Why is peter pan always flying? He neverlands. I like this joke because it never grows old.
@Soberphobiccc: Religious places never have free WiFi because no religion wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works.