@tigersgoroooar: Teeth are so weird. Imagine if all of our bones were exposed and we had to brush them.
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@Rollmaninoz: Each year millions of innocent lives are lost when they accidentally board the wrong plane bound straight for the waiting mouth of a child.
@XplodingUnicorn: Brother: *calls* Can you pick me up at the airport tomorrow? Me: Sure. Can't wait to see you. Him: I land at 5 AM. Me: I have no brother.
@simoncholland: Waiting for everyone in this church service to bow their head in prayer so I can update my fantasy football roster.