@DanMentos: "Tell me about yourself"
Well, I'm a Canadian-
"Oh yeah? Tell me a joke funnyman"
@G_Faylor: [whispers in your ear] how did I get inside this ear?
@Jenny4ashley: *tries to turn on TV*
TV: I have a boyfriend
@nedroid: here's my dating advice. Take your date to go-karts. everyone loves go-karts. I just solved your life. you're welcome
@lisaandtots: Hit 1,000 followers and a 100 star tweet on the same day! Do you know what that means?!
900 of you don't read my shit.
@CulturedRuffian: Tim Burton could've saved a lot of money on 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' and just shown a 2016 Facebook Year in Review instead.