@DanMentos: "Tell me about yourself"
Well, I'm a Canadian-
"Oh yeah? Tell me a joke funnyman"
@crunchenhancer: What's the difference between carbon monoxide and spouses?
Carbon monoxide is a silent killer.
@954LeenO: Don't bother putting your hand over my mouth to shut me up, I will lick you.
@2tickytacky: OMG. My wife's boyfriend made such a fuss when I told his parents at dinner about how noisy those two are in bed.
@EFFLORESCENE: me at 15: i can’t wait to go to college and experience parties and everything!!
me at 20: ok so listen. there’s a new grocery store. i got a mango for 39¢
@AristotlesNZ: Me: BOOP! teehee!
Me: sorry. did you want me to touch MY nose?