@JasonLastname: Tell the dude at Starbucks your name is Poison Coffee, and when he calls your name, fall out of your chair onto the floor.
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@JermHimselfish: I suffer from a rare condition called OCDC, which forces me to salute all of those who are about to rock.
@iGreenMonk: Sometimes I try to eat healthy but my stomach's like "what if you die tomorrow?" and I'm like "good point" and I have a whole pizza.