@LauraBowes: Tell your kids where hotdogs come from first. They won't ever ask about babies.
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@Fred_Delicious: [sex addiction group] "Hi, my name is Fred, and as I've got a saxophone in my hand it's fair to assume I misread the ad"
@MartaEffing: Damn boy, are you fresh ground pepper? Coz you're kinda boring and you've been on top of everything.
@Maxine12333: Daughter saw old clothes I've saved for sentimental value & said 'I bet you cried when the last dinosaur died too'. She's out of the will.