@Home_Halfway: Telling my kids that the Titanic sunk because Jack and Rose had sex before marriage
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@C3Ballin: Life was simpler when photo albums were books containing pleasant family snaps and not digital online librarys of me puking in a shoe.
@ieatanddrink: Just heard that distinct "baby fell out of the crib and into a pizza that was on the floor" sound
@ColeyGuacamole_: When you say "9 out of 10 forest fires are caused by humans" all I hear is "there's a bear out there who knows how to use matches."
@JediGigi: Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: Wow. Nobody's ever asked me that. Interviewer: Take a minute to th- Me: Arendelle.