@Home_Halfway: Telling my kids that the Titanic sunk because Jack and Rose had sex before marriage
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@JayCee302: Me: Yeah man, got her right where I want her Bartender: Oh yeah? Me: Yup, sitting at home while the cable man works on th ::rushes home::
@mstluvstrinkets: On our way to husbands vasectomy he asks *do you think they'll want me to remove my socks?*. I don't know what he thinks is about to happen.