@abbycohenwl: Terrifying if literal: Liquid Plumber
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@Philosopherbing: I woke up at 3 am this morning to the sound of my burglar alarm "Time to go out and rob some people!" I said
@FreshClemonade: Me: "Bond." *lowers sunglasses* "James Bond." Cashier: "You've been doing that for 35 minutes. Are you going to buy the sunglasses or not?"
@Darlainky: *picking up coins off the dance floor* I knew I should have emptied my fanny pack before twerking.