@JoParkerBear: Texting while driving is incredibly stupid and dangerous. You're practically begging for typos.
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@TheDailySchmuck: I hate when I shape my hand like a phone to tell someone to call me, but they're in their 20s and don't know what phones used to look like.
@joshgondelman: I know a bunch of guys who are like Christian Grey but without the money and the handsomeness. They're in jail.
@NickMcNevich: Stalker? Me? Nooooo. But you should call your mom, she left you a message yesterday while you were sleeping. I muted it so you could rest
@SaraThomas84: I'm convinced that people are now just getting married and having babies to have something to post on FB