@JoParkerBear: Texting while driving is incredibly stupid and dangerous. You're practically begging for typos.
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@laabruzzi: *bumpes into my ex on the street *dials a number Hello, Satan? Dude I thought we had an agreement?!
@iliza: A cop was outside my house talking to some people and my first thought was "yesss" because I'm nosey.
@DosieDoe: I really don't have much respect for those that take drugs and alcohol. Like Customs, for example.
@ValeeGrrl: Husband: *hacks up lung* I think I'm comin down with something Me: lol ok whatever Kid: *tiny cough* Me: OMG MY POOR BABY COME TO MOMMA