@summerofbenny: "TGIM!" - My liver
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@thejamietighe: *cop pulls me over* Cop:Had a bit to drink tonight? Me:What makes you think I've been drinking? *cop leans over and turns off lawnmower*
@SCbchbum: Nothing snaps a woman into full blown CSI mode faster than an unfamiliar ponytail holder in her car.
@shawnspree: In the old days when people knocked on the door, you could hide. Now you have to disconnect from internet and turn off cell phones.