@summerofbenny: "TGIM!" - My liver
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@Six_Pack_Mom: *watching husband sleep* Me: "I just love him so much, he's my everyth-" *husband snores* Me: "I can't live like this."
@Ristolable: Guy on fb posted a picture of his baby w/ the caption "1st Easter!" Hell no, there have been like 2000, we're not starting over just for him
@squirrel74wkgn: I know this is only our second date, but can I use your bathroom real quick? Her: Of course... *walks out 26 minutes later* Thanks.