@TheDizzyBeauty: Thank God for semi colon's. How would I have ever been able to flirt if they didn't exist?
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@msmegmensa: If burglars broke into my apt, they'd look around, shake their heads and leave me some cash with a note that says 'get yourself some shit!'
@KattsDogma: I like my eggs like I like my nose: runny. Wait. That's not right. I like my eggs like I like my tigers: poached. Huh? No! I like my eggs li
@ShutUpThatsWho: [ad for umbrellas] [cut to me trying to swat away raindrops, just getting totally wet] "There must be a better way!" Voiceover: UMBRELLAS