@BossyBritches72: Thank God for that one person who gets on the elevator and takes charge.
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@murrman5: [first day as funeral director] this is the dress she wants to be buried in "It's very pretty but we highly suggest a coffin"
@CamusOverEasy: If you took the Facebook IQ Test and it determined you’re a Genius, the fact that you participated in a Facebook test negates the results.
@EJGomez: son ur mom told me u & ur gf broke up today? *puts hand on sons shoulder* if u had bought a pet falcon like i told u she woulda never left u