@Jazzzzzmina: Thank God I wasn't on twitter when I was in college. It would've taken me 65 years to get my degree.
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@TheTweetOfGod: The fact that other bad things are happening is not an argument against fighting a particular bad thing.
@TeflonPawn: By the power vested in me by this case of beer, I now pronounce these three loads of laundry as one.
@PaperWash: idea for haunted house: dimly lit grocery store sprinkled with people you haven't talked to since high school
@Pirate_nurse: I am meeting my twitter crush in a few days and I have officially added "Please let me wind up in a trunk and not a freezer" In my prayers