@__candypants: Thank God the conventions are over because now we can get back to the real issues: FOOTBALL.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@someonesmomma: I just got a paper cut from a 108 yr old book so I'm sitting here waiting to turn into a vampire
@Ideal_Victoria: Friend: I'm surprised to see you eating a salad. Me: *empties bag of chocolate chips over it*
@KeithAshers: Being bitten by a radioactive spider made Peter Parker suddenly fluent in karate & gymnastics...you know, just like a real spider.
@Prero22: Person: It's not rocket science. Rocket science [wipes forehead and exhales] : Whew! Nearly got caught there.