@tanialunreal: Thank goodness I'm loud and obnoxious all the time, so my family can't blame it on the alcohol.
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@envydatropic: Indoor water parks full of kids in diapers for when you want to catch a case of name that bacterial infection
@shkeeber: My job blocked the Favstar website and I'm not sure if I should quit or take hostages. Haha! Jk. I'm totally taking hostages.
@Pundamentalism: "I'd like a bowl of soup please." "Any sides?" "I hope so, or it'll go EVERYWHERE."