@TommyKarate: Thank you for calling. To speak with a human being, please hang up and travel back to the early 1990's.
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@ericsshadow: Beer makes me feel invincible. Vodka makes me feel innvienceablrerrer. *falls down*
@TheHyyyype: 16yo [talking w friend]: fam that's lit af, tell bae and the squad that it's on fleek PARENT: *calls 911* i think my kid's having a seizure
@HeyZeus666: I'm no different than any other bachelor. I put my pants on one leg at a time and clean the house once every new girlfriend.