@TommyKarate: Thank you for calling. To speak with a human being, please hang up and travel back to the early 1990's.
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@AimeeHelene1: *rolls grocery cart into open house* Ooh what a lovely lamp! *puts it in cart* An iPad! *crosses iPad off shopping list* *puts it in cart*
@primawesome: I pet my dog and he didn't wag his tail. Is he seeing someone else? Is the magic gone? Do we need to spice things up? I'll dress like a cat.
@somecleverthing: Irrational fear 807: being spoken to by a comedian during their performance. I would die a thousand proverbial deaths and a single real one.