@TheOneTrueDisco: Thanks autocorrect. I wanted her to know that I shaved my duck.
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@notalogin: *stops by new neighbor* Welcome, I brought you a cake! -Wow, thank you! You know, you didn't have to do that! Oh, ok. *walks away with cake*
@chelliet22: I start conversations with my children by saying "Listen to me," to ensure they stop paying attention from the beginning.
@JermHimselfish: I've never been put in the "friend" zone, but I have been put in the "please don't tell my friend's" zone.