@simoncholland: Thanks for always acting surprised by breakfast in bed like you slept right through the great pots and pans avalanche of 6:45 AM.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AbrasiveGhost: Wife: u can take Max to the park but ur not gonna wrestle other ppls dogs Me in a spandex singlet: Im 16-0 Karen I have a title to uphold
@JermHimselfish: As you get older, dirty talk turns into "Yeah baby, take that nap. Take all of it honey. You like that couch? Oh yeah, sleep on it..."
@HeidiGolightly: Do I still have feelings for my ex husband? Yes. I think "stabby" is a feeling, right?
@LivibelsDada: You know you're too drunk to drive when you swerve to miss a tree then realise it was your air freshener.