@littleliterally: Thanks for the reply to my tweet from 2013, champ. I’ll be sure to take your advice.
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@daemonic3: [1st date] *ok don't let her know you're a manatee* Hi 2 movie tickets OH YOU HAVE MANATEE PRICING?!? "Sir, do you mean matinee?" Dammit
@MandiAtRandom: Might be time to get in shape. Halfway up these stairs and I'm considering setting up base camp and trying again in the morning.
@UncleDuke1969: [bank] Matt Damon: “I’d like to make a deposit.” Teller: “Checking or…” Matt Damon: “Please, don’t.” Teller: “Savings, Private Ryan?”
@spitfirehussy: You've been found guilty of murder in the 1st degree. Your sentence is 20 years of being trapped in a FB group message about a baby shower.