@daemonic3: [1st date]
*ok don't let her know you're a manatee*
Hi 2 movie tickets OH YOU HAVE MANATEE PRICING?!?
"Sir, do you mean matinee?"
Dammit
@MandiAtRandom: Might be time to get in shape. Halfway up these stairs and I'm considering setting up base camp and trying again in the morning.
@UncleDuke1969: [bank]
Matt Damon: “I’d like to make a deposit.”
Teller: “Checking or…”
Matt Damon: “Please, don’t.”
Teller: “Savings, Private Ryan?”
@spitfirehussy: You've been found guilty of murder in the 1st degree. Your sentence is 20 years of being trapped in a FB group message about a baby shower.
@monks_19: If McDonalds sold hot dogs would you be able to (w/ a straight face) order a McWeiner and tell them to supersize it?
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