@PinkCamoTO: Thanks to Fitbit, all my anxious pacing can be passed off as exercise.
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@clindsaysway: Meant to say, "Let me check my calendar and get back to you." What came out: "I'm available anytime"
@SadieSmithRoks: Next time my cat has some friends over, I'm going to puke right next to where they are sitting and see how she likes it.
@panmidwest: [ping pong] ME: 3 to 2, my serve JESUS: M: can I have the ba- J: the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve M: [exhales] every time
@YosefHawel: Most young lives are lost not because of seat belts, but because the defibrillator needs you to sign into Facebook first.