@SwedishCanary: Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across America join together to raise the country's obesity statistics.
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@3sunzzz: I got a new skirt, can you see my underwear? *cartwheel* No. How about now? *handstand* I'm sorry ma'am, you need to leave the library.
@WheelTod: [Home Depot] Me: Hi, I'd like to return this toilet plunger, please. Cashier: I'm sorry, is it defective? Me: No. It worked great