@MamanyaDana: That awkward moment when I give a guy a fake phone number and he tries to call it in front of me.. #OhShiiiit
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@BaconHuffer: I cuss around my kids so they understand proper useage, timing and inflection. Vocabulary is power.
@nbadag: WIFE: please come out of there so we can talk ME: [from cardboard box] i'm sorry come out of where? WIFE: [sigh] please exit the spacecraft
@Michael_Erhart: I'm gonna be a professional farmer when I grow up. I've been wanting to get in that field for years.
@robynpalmer1: Got to THE GATES and St. Peter said, "Go home you're drunk!" Just another time alcohol saved my life.