@MamanyaDana: That awkward moment when I give a guy a fake phone number and he tries to call it in front of me.. #OhShiiiit
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@karencheee: Happy that I paid $ for a gym membership to exercise the little neuron in my brain that argues whether I should go to the gym every day
@causticbob: A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.
@robfee: If you laugh at a kid's joke that kid will tell the exact same joke at slightly louder volumes 8,000 times in a row.
@ojedge: [on a plane] Stewardess: "Would you like a mint? It'll help your ears during takeoff" Me: "Sure, can I have two?" *puts one in each ear*