@MandiAtRandom: [explaining why we got fat] Friend: I had a baby Me: I had a donut

@Book_Krazy: A fun way to make someone self conscious, is to put a nose hair trimmer in their grocery cart while maintaing full eye contact with them.

@girl_a_whirl: You know you're a mover & a shaker when HR rewrites the dress code for you. Whatever Anita, those tear-away pants looked fabulous on me.

@Tmoney68: Carrot raisin salad. When you want to eat something horrible, 3 times.

@moose_chocolate: "7 minutes in heaven" but just me locked in the closet with this burrito.