@kwirkyKerri: That awkward moment when you can't decide if it's just a bad pic or you really look like that.
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@okimstillhungry: Smoke detector: IS THAT A FIRE I SMELL Me: No I'm making baco- Smoke detector: IM A HERO
@fro_vo: ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking, please fasten your seatbelts i wanna try something
@Trustedshoe: Husband: Some weirdo broke into the house last night. Wife: How do you know it was a weirdo? Husband: They stole all my Bruno Mars drawings.