@CarolinaSong: That awkward moment when you text a pretty girl, "my shirt smells like you" & you misspell shirt
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@Chalupanati: *PLOT TWIST* Breaking Bad last ep. Walt takes off the mask to reveal he was Dwayne Johnson The world finally knows what the Rock was cookin
@Brianhopecomedy: Let my 4 year old score his first goal on me in hockey & he said, "NA NA, you couldn't stop me!" so he also received his first cross-check.
@awkwardphilippe: That awkward moment when your date says she has a hair piece but later you find out she was saying herpes.
@ruinedpicnic: me:(nervously) so I gotta fight one of these things? zookeeper: what? no me: I choose...the polar bear zookeeper: why would you choose that