@awkwardphilippe: That awkward moment when your date says she has a hair piece but later you find out she was saying herpes.
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@GoodNaps: Welcome to Ulterior Motors where our goal is to sell you a car and definitely not anything else
@primawesome: A lady just walked into Taco Bell, dumped every hot sauce packet in her bag and left. I should follow her. What's the rest of her day like?
@T_Bonezzz_: Approx 4,500yrs ago men would wake up everyday to build the great pyramid. I got up this morning with anxiety about unloading the dishwasher
@sammyrhodes: Sometimes I get mad about having to unload the dishwasher but then I remember a machine just washed my dishes for me.