@awkwardphilippe: That awkward moment when your date says she has a hair piece but later you find out she was saying herpes.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@onion_an: Dentist switches lamp on: "Now open wide" Moth dental assistant: *repeatedly flies into bulb* Dentist: "This has to stop Denise"
@phranqueigh: "You're not like the other girls." "Yeah, that's pretty much how this works. We're literally all different ones."
@djdarrellripley: Waitress: Would you like an omelet? Me: Sure. Put it in a martini glass with gin and no eggs...
@Mr_Kapowski: The tiny little pocket on a pair of jeans is great if you want to only be able to access your coinage by doing a handstand at a register