@texasstalkermom: That awkward moment you run into someone in public that you know, and there is nowhere to hide.
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@MumsieEsq: "DADDY!?!" (toddler calling out) Me: "Daddy's upstairs but can I help you with something?" "Yes. You can go get Daddy."
@NoogsCorner: Take Dr. Seuss, make him a black midget with chronic asthma and give him access to Urban Dictionary. Behold, Lil' Wayne.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: If you're feeling down about yourself, it won't help you to know that Honey Boo Boo makes more money than school teachers.