@dumbbeezie: That confusing moment when the person you hate at work brings donuts
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@Boba_Photo: Tomorrow is Friday the 13th. Celebrate it by walking very slowly yet still managing to catch up to people.
@zachreinert03: Just saw a woman getting 'running lessons' with rubber bands & a head gear. Pffft, I could've taught her for free and with only a chainsaw
@tastefactory: DOCTOR: You've suffered a brain injury. It's affected your hippocampus ME:What? Lol sorry I was picturing hippos at college. Who are u again
@SomthinBoutSara: Just dropped ranch dressing on my phone then licked it off. So some of you just got to first base with me.