@dubstep4dads: that earthquake in LA was actually a huge crowd of white girls rushing into a wal-mart to buy a green t-shirt last minute
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@JDBooie: My girlfriend knows every single important date in our relationship history and I know she hates olives. She loves olives? Something olives.
@GodShammGod9: My great grandma started to giggle at a barbecue and when I asked what's funny she said " everyone here is alive because I got laid ".