@dubstep4dads: that earthquake in LA was actually a huge crowd of white girls rushing into a wal-mart to buy a green t-shirt last minute
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@_Ashley_Jordan: I'm going to walk up to strangers and ask "Would you take a photo of me?" If they say yes, I will hand them a photo of me and walk away.
@inikoblue: I just asked my friend to come over and "play husband". He's gonna be pissed when he finds out we are putting together shelves from ikea.
@Thynebear: Teacher: You can do anything you set your mind to [I try to sneak outta class but somehow mess up the pull door twice] Except maybe that guy
@juliussharpe: Gotta be careful. My astrologer just warned me someone pretending to predict the future would steal my money.