@hell_homer: that lonely feeling when you oust your ex as mayor of your genitals on foursquare
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@ArfMeasures: *watches Planet Of The Apes* Ugh it's so unrealistic that dumb creatures would rule the planet *watches the news* Oh
@onelongbender: Everyone wants their kid to learn to walk until exactly 30 seconds after their kid learns to walk.
@ddsmidt: Remember don't judge, you never know what another person is going through Unless they're constantly oversharing on Facebook, then go ahead
@Home_Halfway: CHEF: You're fired ME: Is it cause I call beef patty's "beef patricias?" CHEF: Yes ME: Can I have some Switzerland cheese bef- CHEF: GET OUT