@hell_homer: that lonely feeling when you oust your ex as mayor of your genitals on foursquare
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@IamEnidColeslaw: I stopped going to the beach because people kept mistaking me for a corpse and poking me with sticks
@dshack8: Calm down mechanic guy. Just here for an oil change. If I wanted to know about all the other shit wrong with my car I'd turn the radio down.
@simoncholland: Accidentally feng shui'd tonight when everybody wang chunged and I've never been more embarrassed. That lamp does look great there though.
@tigersgoroooar: Just saw a car with a license plate that says FLSH ME. Ok, douche. What are you, a dead goldfish? Flush yourself.