@efasheefaa: That moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, hit a lamp and kill a cat.
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@laurenreeves: I'm planning to adopt a dog soon, it wasn't my first choice but my doctor told me I can't have any biologically.
@JasonLight73: At this point you can get more Gas for your $5 bill at a Taco Bell than you can at a Shell Station
@SuicideBooth1: [couples therapy] Mrs: he's too handsy, always touching me all over... Mr: [who is an octopus] I CANT HELP IT LINDA IM LIKE 90% HANDS...