@rickkondell: That moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, hit a lamp, and kill your dog.
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@WittySassBasket: I like to finish my pelvic exam by asking the doctor 'hey, where'd your watch go?'
@TitansHomer: I'm the guy at the gym laying face down on the treadmill telling everyone "I'm ok, I'm ok"
@thatUPSdude: Can't figure out if my dad is defusing a bomb or trying to answer his cell phone. It's tense! "The green one dad, not the Red one!"