@_TheGreatGrizz_: That moment you are trying to figure out if you are Joey, Ross, or Chandler and you realize you're Gunther.
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@BoozeWallet: *opens kitchen garbage to discover there's no bag in it* *walks 6 miles to gas station to throw out kleenex rather than putting new bag in*
@ShaunRightNow: I'm married, yet the only person that willingly goes down on their knees in front of my crotch is a 72 year old suit tailor named Pablo.
@Momtoteens: Dear Grocery Bagger, Please don't put dryer sheets and bread in the same bag. My kids don't like peanut butter & Spring Meadow sandwiches.
@causticbob: Greek people must feel like a tampon. They live in one of the most beautiful places in the world, but at the worst period.