@brunopieroni: That show "Catfish" should just be called "People Who Have Never Heard of Google."
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@LuckyLea13: I'm thankful for my Twitter family. Without you people, I'd still just be talking to myself
@iwearaonesie: wife's facebook post: so proud of 8, he's trying so hard in school! mama loves you! wife's text to me: he failed gym. gym!! i need a drink
@OtherDanOBrien: Mugger: Gimme yer wallet & don't do nuthin dumb Me: That's a double negative, my friend. Unlike Romance languages, English - hey, come back
@gitson_shiggles: If people on Twitter found a horses' head in their bed at least 3/4 of them would get a selfie with it before calling the cops.....