@SkinnerSteven: "That's gonna drive me nuts" - peanut farmer showing off his new truck
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@ibid78: You kids have no idea how lucky you are. Back in my day we had to shave our jokes into the sides of cats and throw those cats at passers by.
@3sunzzz: My doctor said I need to drink more water every day, so I have started putting ice cubes in my vodka.
@alfageeek: Fun fact: if you say “I did the math,” nobody argues with you because they don't want to have to redo the math themselves.