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@ZZeitgeists: "That's me in a nutshell."
A peanut's photo album.
@ieatanddrink: My daughter called me "lame." Let's see how "lame" she thinks I am when I pick her and her friends up from the movies in a BOAT
WAITER: [brings bill]
ME: I got this
ME: [gets out piggy bank]
[hits it w/ hammer]
[it is filled w/ bees]
@HTXBlonde: "It's funny how red, white, and blue represents freedom until it's your rear view mirror flashing behind you."
@JaymayAllDay: You know what celebrity they should get for Dancing With the Stars? That plastic bag from American Beauty.
@Tmoney68: I'm so lazy, I'll only walk my fingers through your hair.