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@kelkulus: "That's what" - She
@deadstick_ron: [Dog office]
Dog 1: excuse me this is my desk - I pissed on it so..
Dog 2: I just pissed higher on it
D1: son of a
D2: SON OF A WHAT, DAVID?
@Midgetspar: Sorry I'm late. My dog ate my car.
@TheRobCee: Better "copulate" than "copunever."
@krishna_van: Mistook a discarded plastic bag for a rat today as the wind blew it across my path. On the plus side, I can now perform the 'Gangnam Style'.
@Violent2Dope304: Hamburger Helper only works if the hamburger is ready to accept that it needs help.