@moooooog35: The 7-yr old has the flu so I'm letting her lick the envelopes of all my credit card bills.
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@FrogAvalanche: *inside camp-out tent* "Wanna hear-" *puts torch under chin* "-a scary story?" *flicks torch on, it vibrates* "OMG. ITS. NOT. A. TORCH."
@TheRealRHB: Debit card was repeatedly declined at the grocery store today. I was trying to buy vegetables so the bank just assumed the card was stolen
@TheToxicWaster: My wife said she wants a divorce for valentines day. I wasn't planning to spend that much..
@DirtMcTurd: I just did my own taxes for the first time and I'm glad I did because I'm getting 8 million dollars back this year!