@moooooog35: The 7-yr old has the flu so I'm letting her lick the envelopes of all my credit card bills.
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@bigmacher: #MyRoommateIsWeird she keeps having babies and making me take care of them. She also insists I call her 'Wife'
@adamallday: About to finish my second book of the day! And when I say book, I really mean magazine. And when I say magazine, I really mean pizza.
@Donnie_Fairburn: [Comes home and wife is laying in bed with Another Man] "Hey" Hi "Can I ask you something?" Yup "Why'd you name the dog 'Another Man' babe?"