@LostCatDog: The 9-year-old in me thinks life is all about fun. But then I think, how long is it gonna take to digest this kid? I'm a huge python, btw.
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@UncleDuke1969: Me: I didn't get the job. Wife: Why not? M: Something about my eyesight. W: What EXACTLY did they say? M: That I needed 'adult supervision'.
@dafloydsta: A hangover so good you crawl out of the bedroom naked and sleep for 6 more hours on the kitchen floor.
@daneZie: *gets caught breaking into used car lot* *desperately attempts to blend in with inflatable arm flailing tube men*