@secondofhername: The answer is funnier than the question
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@BromanConsul: if you meet a woman under the age of 75 named "Maude" or "Agatha" it's a good bet to check nearby for a time machine
@bobbiejo448: Marijuana does have an adverse effect on my spelling skills. It's to the point that Google even knows when I'm high.
@mommy_cusses: Sorry, can't. I looked away while my child was in the middle of an hour long run-on story and now he has to start all over.