@RealCarrotFacts: the average goat is 9 carrots tall if you measure goats in carrots
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@krishna_van: Don’t you hate when the whole bus is empty, but some guy sits right next to you? I know you do. That’s why I do it.
@SlipCarefully: Forgot my phone and had to write my tweets on paper and pass 'em around at the meeting. nnDidn't get any stars. nGot RT'd to HR.
@devansgorock: Pro Tip: don't believe everything on Twitter. Y'all said throw her up against the wall to keep her happy. Karen from accounting. Not Happy.
@TheCiscoKidder: A billion yahoo accounts got hacked, but the most surprising thing is that a billion people had yahoo accounts.