@UtilityLimb: the average person eats three spiders a year, but as you're about to find out, it takes an entire year for three spiders to eat a person
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@MizzSlaughter: Take your time, Officer. I have nothing but respect for the law. Your imminent death on this dark side street can wait.
@envydatropic: My greatest fear is that I'll be reported as a missing person and my family guesstimates my weight way higher than what I actually weigh