@UtilityLimb: the average person eats three spiders a year, but as you're about to find out, it takes an entire year for three spiders to eat a person
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@MaraWritesStuff: Hey kids, remember the feeling you got when you cleaned your room without being asked and no one noticed? That's what adulthood's like.
@sixthformpoet: A sheep walks into a bar. Lots more sheep follow, the barman counts them and falls asleep, the sheep help themselves to free drinks. Genius.