@Sassafrantz: The average person has sex 103 times a year and it's almost March so that means only 103 more to go.
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@NicestHippo: DETECTIVE: There are signs of a struggle here [earlier that morning] ME: *trying to get up for work*
@nickmullen: I'm not religious but I'm spiritual, which means I think the mothman prophecy is real and I don't feel bad about shoplifting
@hipstermermaid: Donald Trump is like the "Scream" movies in that he blurs the line between comedy and horror.