@UNTRESOR: The average time it takes for an elderly woman to get her ringing cellphone out of her purse is 11 days.
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@PJTLynch: Ladies: To see how a guy is in bed, watch him put on a shoe. Does he just cram his foot in? Or does he lick the shoe fully then gently enter
@Kyle_Lippert: A female contestant is on Wheel of Fortune. "Give me a D" she says. "She wants the D" Pat Sajak says & then high fives the camera man.
@Ndeshi_M: I told all my colleagues at work that I have a twin so that when I see them in public I don't have to talk to them.
@badteacher4u: I tried playing hide-n-seek with my friends newborn and now I'm not allowed back inside that hospital :(