@ExcuseMyTweets: The Bank of America app randomly disappeared off my phone and now I'm wondering how much money I spent last night.
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@BriarSly: Well, if anything, the Mayans DID teach us ONE valuable lesson. If you don't finish something...it's really not the end of the world.
@jannable9: *Food arrives* *Waits 3 days* *Slowly takes bite of food* *Waitress appears from under the table in camouflage* HOW IS EVERYTHING??
@looktothepickle: If you love something set it free. *releases 4 year old son into downtown New York City*
@MsFoxIfUrNasty: [housefly pilot training] Instructor: You encounter a window! What do you do? X: Test the same 3 spots for weakness? I: Repeatedly! Good.