@TheCiscoKidder: The beauty of a text message is that it transcends time. You respond at your leisure. Unless it's from your wife, then you have 30 seconds.
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@shariv67: Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.
@BillPelicanBros: Cop: You were speeding so I'm going to be giving you a ticket Me: Ooh, could I win something Cop: Sort of, 2 more of these & you get a bike
@QwertyJones3: A lot of people don't realize that Shania Twain's father, Mark, was actually a pretty good writer.