@Glynner85: The best part about having a muppet for a best friend is that when you're done singing songs, BOOM free oven mitt.
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@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: I missed chicken nugget day at daycare. Me: So? 5-year-old: My life is falling apart.
@LuckoftheDraw86: In a room full of idiots screaming their opinions at the top of their lungs, be the guy in the corner doing finger guns with his reflection.