@Chelsea_Elle: The best part of being a girl is not having to open doors. If I approach a door and a guy isn't there I just take a nap til one shows up.
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@squirrel74wkgn: One time, I pulled my pants down to moon someone & accidentally opened the car door instead of the window & rolled down the street naked.
@RamblingMachine: My Mother asked me to suggest names for my brother's prospective children. I said I'll name the girl 'Denise' and the boy 'Denephew'.
@sageboggs: are those elderberries? [camera pans over to reveal a bunch of berries struggling to use the internet]
@robfee: If you watch The Blindside backwards, Sandra Bullock becomes so disappointed in her black son that she abandons him on the side of the road.