@RSF788: The best reply to "I love you" is "Well that's a terrible idea."
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@AndrewNadeau0: SCHRÖDINGER: *Kneels down* Hey buddy, so… I have some news about your cat. SON: Is it good news or bad news? SCHRÖDINGER: Yes.
@myles_morrison: The guy behind me at the grocery store only had energy drinks, root beer & gummie lifesavers, so I asked how far into assassins creed he was
@JimmerThatisAll: If a woman asks you to buy her a flamethrower ask yourself some questions before you buy it.