@ChribHibble: The best thing about alcohol hand gel in hospitals isn't the hygiene, but that everyone walks around like they're hatching a dastardly plan.
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@juneohara65: "The only difference between heterosexual and homosexual sex is which hole you stick it in." ~my mother after a few drinks
@briangaar: The premise of Batman is that, deep down, all billionaires just want to be first-year patrol cops
@mdob11: A high-pressure hose will usually stop a coworker from showing you any more baby photos.
@WildeThingy: [electric chair] "Any requests for your final minutes?" "Yeh, I want the last episode of Lost explained." *acquitted on a technicality