@rickkondell: The best thing about owning a Smart Car is when it gets dirty, you can just put it in the dishwasher.
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@whatkylasaid: We only cook with fresh, local ingredients so tonight we're grilling our neighbor's cat.
@Lexi__Alexandra: My doctor said i shouldn't just binge drink all weekend. I tried taking his advice but can't drink a bottle of Jack Daniels every day.
@hmcpherson17: Sitting outside the dentist office eating Oreos, b/c I think everyone should earn their pay.